As I sit and procrastinate on finishing up my history paper on the Medici family on my last Sunday in Italy, I can't help but be consumed with an overwhelming feeling that I don't know if I can express in words. A feeling of utter sadness that I'm leaving the place I have come to call home for the greatest four months of my life.
All of my best friends at Rutgers studied aboard this semester so we are lucky to understand each other as we all have different feelings but its hard to convey the feeling to those who have not experienced such a thing.
Four months ago I left my home and just another semester at Rutgers to live in a country where I didn't know anything except "Ciao" and that they ate lots of pasta. This place is now my home. Study Abroad is really a weird thing...I left my home to come to live in another country, it took some time but I became totally able to successfully function in society and now I'm being yanked out and put right back into my old society. Hellooooo Cultural Shock! I truly think adjusting back into my old life is going to be a hard task and I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back yet. I'm a different person than I was four months ago and I'm not sure how many people really realize that. I've changed and grown and learned SO much about myself, others, and the world. I am a truly more confident person who has learned that theres so much more to life and I really want to experience it all. I've become accustom to the laid back lifestyle, taking time out to enjoy each day and the time we have with others. I am truly a significantly calmer and happier person since being here. This experience has changed and shaped me in ways I never thought possible. I never thought that I would come to embrace my cot (that if you remember collapsed the first night haha) or that I would enjoy walking the 20 minute walk to school each day, or that I wouldn't want to go home after 4 months! If someone had asked me this four months ago, I would have thought they were crazy but I think that shows how much I have come to love it here.
Would I want to live in Italy my whole life? Definitely not. This experience has taught me to appreciate the good old U.S.of A! There are so much I took for granted in the US that I didn't realize until having this experience.
I do wish I had a little more time. I feel like the end just snuck up on me and its over. The beginning was a little rough as it rained for the first two months straight! (Of course Italy has a rain spell when I'm here!) And it definitely did take a while to get accustom to the culture and language (I'll never forget me and Jes's first trip to the supermercato when we both cried because we couldn't buy milk! or when Nick told us we had to get to school on our own and handed us a map!)In hindsight that was the best thing he could have ever done for us. I know the city like the back of my hand. Having visitors the past few weeks and showing them around the city has really made me feel like this is my city. I know so much about Florence. I really enjoyed taking everyone around and sharing my favorite places with them.
And the most ironic thing is that I almost didn't study aboard. I was playing with the idea when most of my roommates decided they were going. Then I thought...ok why not? I knew I had always wanted to return to Europe since going on People to People in high school so theres no better time! But then I couldn't decide on where to study...and I can thank one of my roommates, Petra, for talking me into Italy! She couldn't have led in a better direction! This is by far, hands down, the best thing I have ever done. Right now, I can't imagine my life without study aboard.
My memory and life will forever be filled with amazing memories of this place. And a special thanks to Grandma and Pop-Pop for giving me this opportunity! Without them I wouldn't have been able to come and have this amazing experience!
Basically what I'm trying to say is that Florence will always have my heart. It has changed my life is such a grand and positive way, I am permanently indebted to this place. A piece of me will always be in Florence. Its where I learned and grew as a person.
Of course, I am looking forward to seeing everyone! Mike, Eileen and Rudy better be prepared at the gates for a warm welcoming! (cue scene: me running with my 89 pieces of luggage into their arms!) I've really missed my family, my grandparents, and my pink room, and my pool, and Mexican food, and Wawa hoogies, and peanut butter, and Mets baseball, and especially my friends <3! I will be oh so very happy to be back in the U.S.A. And I know its going to be an awesome summer ahead of me! Just more changes to come.
But as they say...
"We'll always have Firenze!"
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